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| Nok, Sam |
Nok, a former showgirl and now activist for transgender women, says she is accustomed to challenging public opinion about what is possible for the sexes.
"In changing people’s attitudes to the third gender I have tried to create new thinking … I tell them the things we used to believe in about the sexes might not be that way at all," she said.
We can be born men, but feel in our hearts we should be women, and vice versa.
Despite her activist streak, Nok admits that in her less confident moments she finds herself cleaving to society’s judgement that, as a mere woman of the third gender, she can’t hope to live a life as full as that of a "real woman".
Her transmale partner, Ronnakrit "Sam" Hamichart, whom Nok hopes to marry one day, has helped change her thinking.
"There is one leap which I have yet to take. I admit I probably can’t have kids naturally. I tell myself I have no chance of being a mum. It’s like a dream of mine has died. I keep hearing that I can’t have a family, because I am not a real woman. My dream dies by the sword of society’s judgement," she said.
"But can you believe it … I have met a man who insists it is still possible," she said, referring to her partner Sam.
"If we get married, I would like Sam to be my husband, and me his wife," she said.
"But under the current law, which fails to recognise gender reassignment, I would have to be the male half of the relationship, as I was born a man. Sam, who regards himself as a man after his sex change, but was born a woman, would have to be my wife, which he does not want," she said.
Sam says if one day they do get married, he would take on the role of head of the household. However, his partner is not the passive type, and does not expect him to support her financially. "I would be her back-up … I am there when she needs my support," he said.
"I have spoken to her. I say you are willing to create new things for society, so why is it you are prepared to accept society’s judgement that you can't have kids?" he said.
"Today you have another opportunity to create something new.
"When I had my ovaries removed, the doctor asked me if I wanted to keep some eggs … he said we have egg banks these days, just as we have sperm banks. I kept some aside, just as he suggested.
"If we want kids, we can use my eggs, though we will probably have to use sperm from Nok’s brother," Sam said.
"We will need to have a surrogate baby," he added.
"Yeah, a surrogate baby," chimed in Nok, donning her activist’s cap: "That presents further legal problems of course." -
2.
Amie, a former model, is back after a two-year break from the fashion industry. Her partner, tomboy Euy, who is 10 years her junior, studies at university.
"We are not treating it as a marital home, and we haven't thought about getting engaged, though that could come," Amie said.
"We don't think of each other as partners but as friends, because we are likely to stay together longer that way. If we were partners and broke up, it would have to be over someone else," she said philosophically.
While her family helped with the land, she was not born with money, and had to work for everything she owns. "I earned it from my work in the industry, and saved it to make more," she said.
In her view, tomboys and women of the second gender such as her have something missing.
"We make up for each other's gender deficiencies. I am happy, as many men have tricked me in the past. I give them my heart, but they turn out poorly. I do not look at men in a romantic way any more. My family sees Euy as a well-behaved young tom," she said.
For her part, Euy says Amie is a match for "real" women in every way.
"I like to think of Amie as my mum. I see her as a woman. She competes with a real one in every way," she said.
Amie said she cannot have children, so they will look at taking on a foster child.
"Euy can have kids, but it would have to be with someone else. She can't accept that, so we will have to look elsewhere," Amie said. -
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| Euy, Amie |
Katoey Ratchada "Amie" Krutramas and her tomboy partner, Euy, are also working their way around the problem of how to have kids.
The pair opened their 50 million baht home to the media last week,
six months after moving into the place. They have been together three
years.Amie, a former model, is back after a two-year break from the fashion industry. Her partner, tomboy Euy, who is 10 years her junior, studies at university.
"We are not treating it as a marital home, and we haven't thought about getting engaged, though that could come," Amie said.
"We don't think of each other as partners but as friends, because we are likely to stay together longer that way. If we were partners and broke up, it would have to be over someone else," she said philosophically.
While her family helped with the land, she was not born with money, and had to work for everything she owns. "I earned it from my work in the industry, and saved it to make more," she said.
In her view, tomboys and women of the second gender such as her have something missing.
"We make up for each other's gender deficiencies. I am happy, as many men have tricked me in the past. I give them my heart, but they turn out poorly. I do not look at men in a romantic way any more. My family sees Euy as a well-behaved young tom," she said.
For her part, Euy says Amie is a match for "real" women in every way.
"I like to think of Amie as my mum. I see her as a woman. She competes with a real one in every way," she said.
Amie said she cannot have children, so they will look at taking on a foster child.
"Euy can have kids, but it would have to be with someone else. She can't accept that, so we will have to look elsewhere," Amie said. -
3.
Actor Pachara "Peach" Chirathivat says the world won’t end if he is chosen to serve as a conscripted soldier — but he has asked to put off the prospect of compulsory service for one more year while he finishes his studies.
Peach sought a deferral of the conscription draw last week when he reported to Wat Hua Lamphong School in Bang Rak.
Peach is in the final year of his bachelor’s degree in commerce and accounting at Chulalongkorn University. He said he would like to finish the degree before contemplating service in the military, which could take up a year or two.
Thai men must report for conscription when they turn 21, though they can apply for an exemption for six years if they are busy with study, or think they might qualify on health grounds. After that they must submit themselves to the conscription draw.
"This is probably the last time I will seek a deferral, because I am about to finish studying," he said. "I have no plan yet to do a master's. I haven't spoken to my family about whether to carry on studying or sign up.
"Whatever happens, I can accept it ... the world won't end.
"Serving the country isn't a bad thing. We make a living from the country, so if we can do some good, it's a positive thing. If I carry on studying, it would probably take another three years ... I can't keep deferring service for that long.
"If I have to serve, I have to serve. I am not scared. I am more worried about being teased."
Meanwhile, a katoey, Tinkorn "Nong Kaem" Jiwprom, 21, turned heads when she reported for the conscription draw at Wat Khuhasawan in Muang district of Sukhothai.
Actor Pachara "Peach" Chirathivat says the world won’t end if he is chosen to serve as a conscripted soldier — but he has asked to put off the prospect of compulsory service for one more year while he finishes his studies.
Peach sought a deferral of the conscription draw last week when he reported to Wat Hua Lamphong School in Bang Rak.
Peach is in the final year of his bachelor’s degree in commerce and accounting at Chulalongkorn University. He said he would like to finish the degree before contemplating service in the military, which could take up a year or two.
Thai men must report for conscription when they turn 21, though they can apply for an exemption for six years if they are busy with study, or think they might qualify on health grounds. After that they must submit themselves to the conscription draw.
"This is probably the last time I will seek a deferral, because I am about to finish studying," he said. "I have no plan yet to do a master's. I haven't spoken to my family about whether to carry on studying or sign up.
"Whatever happens, I can accept it ... the world won't end.
"Serving the country isn't a bad thing. We make a living from the country, so if we can do some good, it's a positive thing. If I carry on studying, it would probably take another three years ... I can't keep deferring service for that long.
"If I have to serve, I have to serve. I am not scared. I am more worried about being teased."
Meanwhile, a katoey, Tinkorn "Nong Kaem" Jiwprom, 21, turned heads when she reported for the conscription draw at Wat Khuhasawan in Muang district of Sukhothai.
News reports said Nong Kaem caused such a stir that young men broke from the queues they were waiting in to ask for her picture.
Later, she was shown sitting alongside young men with their shirts off, waiting to have their health checked.
Dressed as a woman, Nong Kaem was spared that indignity. She made no secret of the fact she did not want to be chosen for duty.
"I have felt like a woman in my heart since I was a kid. My family didn’t object. After studying domestic science at a local tech two years ago, I started working for a jewellery manufacturer in Samut Prakan," she said.
Soldiers in charge of selecting men for conscription let her off the hook, saying she looked too much like a woman to serve, even though she she has not taken the next step of medically changing her gender.
Later, she was shown sitting alongside young men with their shirts off, waiting to have their health checked.
Dressed as a woman, Nong Kaem was spared that indignity. She made no secret of the fact she did not want to be chosen for duty.
"I have felt like a woman in my heart since I was a kid. My family didn’t object. After studying domestic science at a local tech two years ago, I started working for a jewellery manufacturer in Samut Prakan," she said.
Soldiers in charge of selecting men for conscription let her off the hook, saying she looked too much like a woman to serve, even though she she has not taken the next step of medically changing her gender.
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